playing grand theft auto
baby's first words
- baby: w...wa...
- mom: water?
- baby: WALUIGI NUMBAH ONE
when you see a fine booty in the street but you are with your parents
the other day i went with a friend to the museum, and outside its entrance, was greeted with this:
eight cats. sitting there. perfectly still. everyone around them was cooing and taking pictures but those cats did not budge. for a moment i was actually wondering whether that was supposed to be some sort of experimental new performance art.
but then one lady came out of the museum and they all got up and followed after her. good god, i hope they’re her cats. i hope they do this everywhere she goes. just follow after her and patiently wait outside every building she enters like the world’s most disciplined children.
Jon Stewart tries to get Hillary Clinton to say she’s running for president.
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